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Nathaniel Duvall

[ website | My Music Yo ]
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Entry For a Special Lady [Jun. 21st, 2005|03:43 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
It has been far too long since I have spoken with you. Since I have seen the majestic glow of your keystrokes and heard the melancholy of your half silent whispers. Your flowing dark hair, and your quietly flirty body language. Too long since I have stared into your large animated eyes, that tell more stories than your mouth ever will. Too long since I have seen the curves of your body, and the awkward beauty of your silent smile. I have thought of you many a day, and wondered if I should try, wondered if you really need me in your existence at all. I think you might, and based on that, I write this to you. Fuck anyone that doesn't understand this. This is for you. You are indeed an individual. I am sorry for any neglect you may have seen on my part. More than anything I wish I could be beside you right now. I love you. And I really do mean that.

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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2005|09:36 pm]
Nathaniel Duvall
As an update. Since I got a DUI I can not work for frito lay because they are bastards about that. I never thought that would matter in a job where I would be driving my own personal vehicle. So I have no idea what the fucks up with that. I am suspended from diversion for two weeks for owing too much money. Which makes no sense, but whatever. I go back in a week. My dad is gonna help me out with the finances, so that's cool. Um... still single. Which is fine. Not drinking as much. Chillin' with good friends and having a good time I guess. And when it was hot out I got some color in my pale ass skin. Wee. Well I am sure there is more I could say, but I'm not going to. Peace.
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(no subject) [May. 18th, 2005|09:52 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
[Mood |happyFine]
[Music |Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier]

Ok so what's new. Well for one I am now in the process of trying to work for Frito Lay. I don't know how promising it is, but my moms friend tells me I can get a job there. Of course that's what people said about Home Depot and Nabisco and neither hired me.

I am still in diversion. I graduate the program in one month. Almost done! That is so awesome.

I live in Battleground pretty much permanently now with my folks until I can get my shit together. And for the first time I am really enjoying my parents company as friends.

Today I am extracting my sister Renee from her fiance's house. Well I guess ex-fiance now. That may be quite a tense situation. Plus I have to move all of her shit by myself basically. Cause I mean, she's not very strong, and she is sick. Fun stuff I tell ya.

Yesterday I decided to be an idiot. I wrestled in a hapkido dojo. As in the sort of backyard wrestling-ish sort of shit I used to do in earlier days of high school. Remind me not to ever again. I think I re-fractured my right wrist or at least sprained it, and I smashed my heel pretty good. I am walking around with a major gangster limp. I popped a bunch of excedrin, so for the time being I am ok.

I am pretty happy with life right now. As soon as a couple things fall into place I think I will be able to move out of this cloud that's been hanging over me for years. It seems like for a long time I have been afraid of life and afraid to admit it. Well out with that shit.

Anyways, just wanted to update seeing as how I haven't in ages. So hello friends. And goodbye.
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(no subject) [Apr. 17th, 2005|01:49 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
Sara, the porn stars name is Jesse Jane. Look at her face closely. I think you look alike a bit.

As for me, well I am buzzed of alcohol. Big surprise! I am bored. And I do nothing with my life.


Uh... nothing happens to me. I almost got in a fight with like 12 dudes or some shit. I guess. I don't remember, all I know is I had a bat and was pissed. Almost a fifth of brandy apparently fucks me up.

Um... yeah... that's about it, almost fights.

So much rage. I need to vent. Sexually.

Volunteers? Haha.

Anyways, I am more than half way through diversion and that gives me a thick rubbery one. And I am calling Home Depot on monday for an interview. So things may just work out.
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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2005|12:28 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
[Mood |hornyI Have A Boner]

I use this site so rarely now. I wish I had the internet so I could use it more often.

I am in debt heavy with diversion now. They plopped about 90 extra dollars onto my plate that I had no idea about this month. Dave said he'd help me probably. So hopefully he will.

I am single as can be right now, and for some odd reason have plenty of confidence. I'm a stud, maybe that's why. Oh yeah.

Sara... seriously we need to hang out like, right now. I would call you but it's like 1 am and you never seem to be available at this hour. Let's touch. :) Haha.

Um... I drink too much, I think I am getting an ulcer from all of the vodka and whiskey I drink. I dunno. And by the way Sara I saw you said you like whiskey, thatta girl! That's my favorite. Although it is the one alcohol that makes me black out. But oh well, let's black out together.

Diversion is weak sauce, my car is still up and running consistently, I am bored way too much, I applied at Home Depot today, I am the sexiest man alive... besides Johny Depp and Brad Pitt anyways. Just thought you should all know that.

I drank before I got online. Can you tell?

Fuck me.
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2005|04:12 pm]
Nathaniel Duvall
St. Patricks is cool. I am a little hung over. Had a beer and french fries for breakfast.

I have a penis.
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(no subject) [Mar. 7th, 2005|03:04 pm]
Nathaniel Duvall
Ok new update. I haven't been on in forever. I have taken care of my previous car insurance debt. And I also apparently got over taxed by Qwest so I should be receiving a refund for some of my old phone bills, which should just about cover what I still owe them. So now my only big debt is my AT&T bill. I am stoked. I also got my license and car back, and have a new cheaper insurance policy to boot. I am riding legit.

As for the girl I was seeing, meh I dunno about that. It has slowed down a lot, and we only see each other and talk every now and then. No hard feelings though, she is still a friend and all. That is better than most situations I get myself in.

Other then that I just got the address to where I have to go to apply at Nabisco and also I may have a hook up to work at Home Depot for 9 something an hour until my name comes up on Nabiscos hiring list.

I have been going to diversion every week, and doing quite well in it I might say. I still drink, but it's not as often as before. But I don't think I am an alcoholic anyways, so that's fine.

I feel happy, I am relaxed. I got a massage and cupping done last night. Orgasmic, you should all try it.

And to Cristi, I will call you in the next couple of days, I am sorry but I haven't seen your message till today, I have been busy. <3

And Sara, lets hang out in the next couple of days, I am working for Dave's dad today so I will have cash, which equals gas, and that equals a gay old time. Cool? Cool.

Peace out.
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(no subject) [Feb. 18th, 2005|01:42 pm]
Nathaniel Duvall
[Mood |nauseatedHungover]

Well, so far I can't afford to get my car back. So I am still a walker. I am doing fine in diversion, it's a bit boring, but whatever. I'll live.

I have been spending a lot of time in Battleground. My cousin Joey came out from Wisconsin and is living with my mom and dad. That is kind of an odd situation. He is awesome though, I am glad to finally meet some of my distant family. I might even go back to Illinois with him in a couple months to see his mom, apparently she may have cancer. That is sad as hell cause she is the aunt that always stays in contact with me.

And on the topic of sickness, my mom's asthma is getting bad, and her bronchitis came back. She can barely sleep at night now. She stops breathing sometimes, and her throat closes up. She has some machine she has to use every four hours that opens her throat back up. It's horrible. I am really scared that I might lose her soon, and that would kill me. I am such a momma's boy. Always have been. And on top of that my brother has been sick for a little over a week now. He was crying so hard when I was there that it didn't even sound human. And I stayed up all night rocking him so he wouldn't cry. Literally all night, until my mom woke up and then my dad came home and they took over. He is getting a little better, but his life expectancy is shorter than ours due to his disabilities, and the only kid I ever knew that was like my brother died at 19, my brother turns 19 next week. And my brother has a lot of internal problems that can't be fixed. So needless to say I am a bit worried about my family. I don't know what the rest of us would do without my mom, or my brother. Hopefully I am just over reacting. I hope.

Anyways, me and my new "girl" aren't talking much. I wrote a song about her, and a started a couple other about different aspects of the situation. I guess I am venting that way about how I feel. I am a bit confused by the fact we are talking so much less. I could be over reacting there too, though. Time will tell. All I know is it was nice having someone around for a while like that. Gets the mind off all of the other stuff I have to deal with at the moment.

Alright, well that's the update, I'm going back to Battleground tonight, and off to Rainier with my cuz to see my older brother. Until then. Gone.
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(no subject) [Feb. 6th, 2005|03:40 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
[Mood |accomplishedI'm Cool Bitch]
[Music |Lil Wyte - Acid]

I talked to my mom, apparently I have to go into north Portland to apply at Nabisco where my dad works. I plan on doing that by next week, after I have my ride back. If I get it, life begins. So cross your fingers, legs, testicles, or whatever for me.

I saw the girl I like today. It was cool. She is a good kisser. I like that.

Just these two small occurances make me way happier then I have been.

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(no subject) [Feb. 4th, 2005|02:24 am]
Nathaniel Duvall
[Mood |chipperchipper]
[Music |Lil Wyte - Oxy Cotton]

What's up internet?

Well I have been living off the grid for a while. I have been staying from place to place. Can't complain, I know some hospitable hosts. Good friends are a blessing. I am glad I didn't take them for granted when things were easier, it pays off in the long run. I have gone to a couple of diversion things, not so bad. I get my car back in one week. I am stoked for that. I applied at Plaid Pantry, I talked to the manager and it's promising. I don't think I really want it though. I asked my dad to find out what employment office I have to go to to apply at Nabisco. I need more than $7.50 an hour at a shitty convenience store. And $14 working at a factory with my old man sounds a lot better to me. It would cut all of my calculations for getting debt paid off in half time-wise, and that gives me a thick rubbery one.

Life is fine. I like life.

I met a girl. She is awesome. Well I guess I already knew her, but I met the real her. I like her. I don't know where to go from here with it, but as soon as things are straightened out in my life it should be a good situation. If she stays around that long, that is.

I can't wait for life to start again. I feel like I have been trapped under some imaginary force field for a long time. Fear is a bitch. Fear of rejection in work situations and relationships. Fear of meeting new people. Fear of being left. Fear of doing nothing forever. Fuck fear. Live.
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